65 year old gay men

I had a great time in my 20s and a boyfriend I loved. Nothing long lasting and nothing to write home about. My brother, who is a few years younger than me, is straight and already a grandfather. I look at his life and sometimes wish it were mine. It would have been great to have a family.

I wish it had been a possibility. When I was young, I was having too much fun to go to grad school so I put it off and never got around to it. I have a few gay acquaintances my age. I think they drink too much and try to act too young. I find this depressing.

Younger people look right through us. When I was young I also looked right through older guys. You still may have many years to live in a way that you find fulfilling. Yes, I understand that there are some roads that you can no longer go down and I understand that it may be late in the day to be contemplating any big life shifts or changes in direction.

But what is your alternative? To sit in regret for the next 20 years or more? Your letter raises some great questions that all of us could stand to ask ourselves: What do I want to accomplish with my life? What do I want to leave behind? How do I want to be remembered?

Of course there is no one right answer. And of course some of us opt not to ask ourselves these questions. So your task is to now put your attention to this goal. Only you can figure that out. But I do think you would benefit from having a therapist to help you see the big picture of your life story, understand the reasons you may have held yourself back and challenge yourself to do more than what you have done so far, even if doing so is scary.

About your not feeling a sense of belonging to your peers and feeling like 65 year old gay men ghost when you walk among the younger generations: I encourage you to keep looking for more of a community, if you want one. And regarding those younger people who look right through you — as you point out, this is an age-old phenomenon.

And yet there are also members of newer generations who want to connect with LGBT history and you are an eyewitness. I do believe that as you create a more vibrant life for yourself — in whatever ways have meaning for you — you are likely to be someone whom others want to interact and spend time with.

Psychosocial needs and vulnerabilities of older gay and bisexual men

Your taking the time to write about your unhappiness leads me to think that there is a part of you that has been wanting to challenge yourself and was looking for encouragement. Michael RadkowskyPsy. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality.

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